Rockin’ round the Hotel

Disclaimer: If you are under the age of 50 you’ll either want to skip this blog or your curiosity will lead you to seek out a senior citizen for an explanation.

Staying at the Holiday Inn Dallas Market Center in Dallas Texas was like listening to a 45 RPM record. The hotel was shaped like one of those adapter doo-dads we used to put in the middle of the 45 so it would fit the spindle on the record player. From the moment I stepped into the hotel, I felt a bit like I was putting the stylus in the groove.

The elevator was the middle of the hole. Getting off the elevator was a little weird but nice, since there was no way to get lost. If I turned the wrong way off the elevator I just walked around and around until I found the hallway leading to my room. And there were no straight walls in the room - they all had a slight curve.

The whole hotel was sort of a time-warp. For an older hotel it was well-kept and the staff was exceptionally friendly. Maybe the lack of modernization was because the hotel was so isolated. There was a train track running alongside the property. I almost expected to see Uncle Joe movin’ kinda’ slow at the junction. And yes, I could hear the train at night - but that’s what earplugs are for, right?

I do have a semi-major complaint. I didn’t like having to enter the hotel through a smoke screen. Four or five people were sitting and smoking on the two benches on either side of the front door of the hotel. I’m guessing that either I arrived at shift change or the kids sneaked out of the prom for a Chesterfield.

Since there was absolutely nothing nearby, I ate dinner in the restaurant. After a nice meal I walked back to the elevator and went up to my floor. I noticed the halls had a slight musty smell, and I swear I could hear the crackle and pop of I Want to Hold Your Hand.

Not at all sleepless in Seattle

Seattle’s Space Needle is absolutely beautiful in the morning sun, and you can see it from your room if you are not staying in the Holiday Inn Dexter Avenue North in Seattle, Washington. My room had a view of the Pink Elephant Car Wash.

I thought it was very interesting that two Holiday Inn properties were right across the alley from one another, and the hotel planners made the lower end hotel the one with the view. Now, if you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know that I often stay in HI Express hotels, but if there is an acceptable full-service option I’ll usually choose it because of the convenience of the restaurant on site. That's how I made my decision this time.

The hotel was actually quite pleasant and had wonderful staff. It was a comfortable place to stay the 4 days I was in Seattle, and had concierge access and a nice little continental breakfast each day. There was a restaurant/bar connected to the property, not actually in the hotel. The bartenders were outstanding and seemed to enjoy talking about local color, including the famous homeless guy that had been “working” the pier area for over 20 years. There's nothing like stable employment.

If you’ve ever been to Seattle, you probably already know that parking anywhere in the city requires two things. 1) Patience 2) A bank loan. It was a bargain to park in the Holiday Inn’s underground garage for only $10.00 a night.

I enjoyed my trip to Seattle. The weather was perfect the entire time, and it was sheer joy to wake up and open the drapes each morning. The blue sky was glorious. The breeze was brisk. The air was clean, and so were the cars.

The Colonel would have approved

After checking out of the Austin Crowne Plaza, I hoped I'd find my luck improved at a different hotel. I checked into the Austin Town Lake Holiday Inn in Austin Texas, an interesting property with a round tower on the bank of Lady Bird Johnson Lake. I was offered a choice of an executive room or a room with a view of the lake. I decided on the room with a view, (mostly because it was on the side of the hotel away from the expressway) and I must admit the view was lovely at sunset. This hotel is an older property, but I can’t complain about it. It was quiet, clean, and comfortable.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I often choose to eat in the hotel bar when I’m on the road. It’s usually quicker, and more than likely has the same menu offered in the restaurant. It’s also a fun way to hear “traveler tales” from other road warriors who’ve had a little too much if you know what I mean. I’ve heard some wild stories, and while I’m sure that 98 percent of them are seriously embellished or completely fabricated, it certainly beats watching reruns of Desperate Housewives on TV. Plus, most bartenders are pretty good conversationalists which makes dinner time a little more interesting for those of us traveling alone. And I can get a pomegranate martini.

This time I ordered an appetizer - chicken strips. Down at the end of the bar were a couple of guys that had been talking to the bartender about being in town for a video game software developer’s conference. They looked like kids. Or maybe I just felt old? Anyway, when my plate arrived, I wondered if I had mistakenly ordered the Colonel’s family sized bucket of chicken with all the fixins. It was huge! I commented to the bartender that I thought I had been given the party platter, and said I’d be happy to share if anyone else at the bar would like some.

Video game software developers have good appetites.

No jewels in this Crowne

I should have picked up on the first clue.

After I checked in to the Crowne Plaza in Austin, Texas I went to the elevator and my key wouldn't work in the executive floor key reader on the elevator. I went back to the front desk and the clerk told me that the middle elevator was always a little weird, and I should use one of the other two. I pushed the button, and the middle elevator door opened. I pushed the button again. No other elevator responded. It was starting to remind me of a Twilight Zone episode I saw once. I finally took the service elevator. The service elevator magically stopped on every floor.

My room on the executive floor was the very last room at the end of the hall. I think it had previously been a closet.

I was actually stunned when I walked in the room. The ceiling was low. The room was almost entirely filled with the king-sized bed, which was actually pushed up to the wall. I don't know how the housekeepers were able to make it up. The nightstand was in the only possible location in the room and was about two feet from the bed. I tried to make the best of it, I really did. But I was supposed to stay three nights at this hotel. I decided it was going to be unacceptable when I realized I was going to have to get out of bed to turn off the lamp or turn off the alarm. The whole experience reminded me of the pictures in my childhood storybook of Alice in Wonderland. When Alice ate the cake she grew so large she had to bend over to stand up in the room. Weird stuff in that book.

I plugged in my laptop at the desk to use the free hotel internet. The signal was so low the internet was virtually nonexistent. I looked at other available wireless networks in the area, and discovered that the hotel next door had a pretty good connection.

I looked for another outlet to charge my blackberry and ended up having to charge it in the bathroom. My cell phone just had to wait its turn. I'm just glad I didn't have to wait in that line.

I decided to stay the night, then checked out the next morning and went to another hotel. If I wanted to stay in a rabbit hole I would've invited Alice.

Room with a view

The Holiday Inn Express in Wichita Falls Texas is a lovely, relatively new hotel on the outskirts of town. It was a bit challenging to find at first because of the highway construction. In order to get to it I had to drive through the gas station and around the Sonic Drive-In. After the first time finding my way in though it was no problem.

One side of the hotel overlooks a little man-made lake. I bet there is a nice view. I wouldn't know because I wasn't on that side of the hotel. I wonder what you have to do to get one of those rooms? I'm a Platinum priority member, I booked an executive suite - and I didn't get a room with a view. I got a room with a lovely view of the highway construction, complete with sound effects. But, the heavy machinery didn't bother me too much because the fan worked well in the room.

I also discovered that I wished I was better skilled at TV channel-surfing. The hotel had HD TV, but I couldn't find the HD channels. It turns out that I had to channel down on the remote control in order to find them. I never thought about channeling down from zero. It would have been nice to know that. Maybe the hotel could give a hint or two in their hotel guide. They could call it "Remote Control for Dummies."

Speaking of control... the toilet seat in the bathroom slid over when I sat down. Now I know that this isn't a big deal, but it was a little disconcerting.

Oh, and one last thing. This hotel had a surprising number of active military personnel staying there. Word must have spread that if you had to go TDY to the local air force base, it was a quality hotel with quiet rooms. And, I hope that the servicemen and women were warmly welcomed and given the very best rooms with a nice view of the lake.

All wired up and no place to go.

When I first started traveling, I hauled around a widescreen laptop that weighed around 152 pounds. I even bought a wheeled briefcase for it because I got so tired from hauling the darn thing through airports. Then I discovered the wonderful little HP notebook computer. What a brilliant invention. It weighs less than my purse.

Once I got this petite little laptop, I almost didn’t mind pulling it out to go through security. In fact, I remain a little proud of how smart I was to have made this purchase. I know I’m not alone. I think a lot of savvy travelers have purchased these handy little travel notebooks.

Handy unless you stay in the Intercontinental Hotel, in Dallas, Texas. But what a beautiful hotel! It exuded perfection. Décor, customer service - everything was wonderful. Well, the bed was a little hard, but I can live with that. It just makes me appreciate home a little more.

Just don’t try to use your little notebook say...across the room from the desk. Or while sitting in the comfortable easy chair. Or while in bed. Nope. You have to stay tethered to the desk with an Ethernet cord and a modem, which the hotel cheerfully provided. I thought it seemed a little cheerfully old-fashioned.

So there I was, all wireless in a wired world. What a dilemma I found myself in. The way I saw it, I had four choices:

1. Force myself to sit at the desk long enough to do some work and forget playing computer games for my evening entertainment.
   
2. Go cold turkey and just shut myself off from it for two days.
3. Use the wireless option the city of Addison offered, a weak connection but maybe adequate.
4. Make myself comfortable and/or tipsy in the lobby bar.
5. Sit in the hotel Starbucks and enjoy an grande iced caramel coconut amaretto chocolate macchiato with whipped cream.
   

My decision was all that, and had a cherry on top.

Three strikes and I'm out.

I just removed a hotel from "most favored" status. I can't believe this was the same hotel I stayed in before. Everything seemed to go wrong from the minute I checked into the Crowne Plaza Market Center in Dallas, Texas.

One: Room for improvement

I checked into the hotel, and went up to the 20th floor and used my key to open the door. When I opened it I heard the television blaring. Then I saw a disheveled bed in the room and I quickly backed out not really knowing what was happening in the room. I'm not sure I really wanted to know. It was extremely disconcerting. I took the elevator back down to the lobby and told the desk clerk what had happened. She was polite, said she was sorry and gave me a key to another room.

Back up the elevator I went - this time to the 21st floor. I went into the room and it was a room with two double beds. I always reserve a king sized bed because the room seems to have more space and for some reason I feel claustrophobic in rooms with two beds. Down the elevator I go for the second time.

Now I'm wondering if it's a full moon or something.

The clerk is now not quite as friendly, but still polite and tells me she has a king room on the 7th floor. I don't mind which floor it is as long as it is quiet. I take the key and go back to the elevator. This time the room is a king and is definitely unoccupied. Finally.

Two: I only have ice for you

By now it is fairly late in the evening, and I want a glass of ice water since I didn't get my traditional bottle of cold water at check in. The guest services book in the room said there was an ice machine located on each floor across from room something or other. I take the ice bucket and head down the hall. The ice machine was broken. I got on the now familiar elevator and went to the eighth floor. The ice machine was not working. Ninth floor. Not working. On the elevator I met a guy holding an ice bucket. Don't bother trying ten or eleven because those ice machines don't work either. I went back to my room and called the desk. The desk clerk said I had to go to the third floor.

Three: It's a no drainer

I usually stay in IHG (InterContinental Hotels Group) properties. All of the Holiday Inns and HI Expresses have been undergoing renovations as a part of the re-branding of the chain. Many of the more upscale hotels in the chain have also been updated, and I think I heard that the Crowne Plaza Dallas had also undergone upgrades. One of the nifty things they did was add these classy looking sink stoppers to the sink in the vanity. But I discovered a problem when I washed my hands. There was no way to raise the sink stopper so the sink would drain. I looked everywhere. I thought maybe I needed to twist it or something to get it to stay up. Nope. I imagine the intent was for it to always be open, but this one was always closed. Each time I used it I had to put my hand through whatever I had just washed off in order to empty the sink. See the problem here? A person with OCD would have never left the bathroom.

That night before going to sleep, I made a reservation at another hotel. The phone worked.

The next morning I went to the front desk ready to check out. The friendly clerk asked about my stay, and I said unfortunately I was checking out instead of staying three nights as originally intended. She seemed genuinely concerned and called the manager. It turns out the manager was one of the wonderful employees I had encountered on my previous two experiences in the hotel. He was so nice and seemed genuinely sorry about my less than satisfactory experience. I told him I was really sorry too, and very disappointed. He comped my room. He also said he hoped I'd give them another chance sometime.

I might go back to the hotel some day. Everyone deserves a second chance, even after failing three chances on the same night.

Tissue on request

After spending the night at the Michael Phelps Suite at the last hotel, I checked into the Holiday Inn Birmingham Airport, in Birmingham, Alabama. This was an older hotel, where the staff answers the phone with "Thank you for calling Birmingham's award-winning Holiday Inn."

When I stay in hotels I tend to look for things that will encourage me to book with them again, and if all else fails I look for the entertainment value of the overnight stay. This was a combination of the two. Like I said before, this is an older hotel which has obviously undergone recent renovations - and some of the improvements were definitely interesting.

For instance, the bathroom. This bathroom had two sinks. Not two sinks in the same vanity, but one sink outside the "water closet" and one inside the "water closet." (That means the room with the toilet for those of you needing a translation.) The first sink wasn't a wet bar, just a vanity. I found it rather strange, but I guess it would be kind of nice if you are the type of person that likes to spread out your stuff all over the place. The little bathroom had a very small vanity, the tub, and the toilet. It also had a really odd layout. There was only about an inch clearance between the door to the toilet. When it was time to "take care of business" I had to step in, move to the side, and then close the door. Leaving the door open was not an option without being skilled as a contortionist. It made me wonder how many people alone in a hotel room actually close the door when they gotta go?

I think there was a toilet tissue shortage in the hotel. My room didn't have any when I checked in, but they bought it to me immediately when I called the front desk. On my way to dinner I passed by a housekeeper delivering it to another room. Maybe it was service on request or something. I think it was a good thing that I noticed the lack of tissue before I closed the bathroom door. That could have been awkward.

I stayed on the second floor, which also happened to be the "housekeeping" floor. When I got off the elevator, it looked as if I'd accidentally pushed the button for the basement. The tile floor looked like a work space and in the mornings the the hallway was lined with housekeeping carts. It was kind of handy if you are the type that takes the little bottles of shampoo, but it created a traffic jam in the mornings as all the housekeepers and their assigned carts made their way toward the newly vacated rooms.

Probably my only "real" complaint was the location. While the hotel was convenient to the airport, it was a less than desirable location for everything else. I'm not sure I would have even ventured out after dark. The first night I had dinner in the hotel restaurant. It was quite average to say the least, and was way over-priced. The next night I found a restaurant before I went back to the hotel.

While I had a few issues with the hotel, I had nothing but kudos for the staff I encountered. They were wonderful. But I do think it would be nice if the hotel automatically offered Priority Club members complimentary toilet tissue along with a cocktail at check in.

Anyone for a swim?

The Holiday Inn Birmingham-Homewood, in Birmingham, Alabama is a beautiful new property on the south side of Birmingham. I was supposed to stay two nights but I checked out after one night and went to another Holiday Inn property.

I encountered something in this hotel that I've never encountered before. It was more humid inside the room than it was outside. If you've ever been to Alabama in the summer then you know this is an amazing statement. But it is not an exaggeration. The room was downright wet. It was bizarre.

My paperwork got limp. The sheets felt damp. When I took a shower the bathroom mirror didn't fog up because there was already so much moisture in the room. I didn't like it but I thought I could deal with it.

The final straw was when my my Cheez-Its got soggy. Nobody messes with my Cheez-Its.

Reflections on a Margarita #3

Living in a big city offers many interesting activities. One of the most interesting is getting stuck in a traffic jam.

Fortunately, I was given two very important pieces of advice when I moved to the big city:
1. Never leave home or work without a full tank of gas.
2. Never leave home or work without an empty bladder.

Advice well taken on more than one occasion.

Traffic jams offer an abundance of entertainment if instead of getting mad you use the opportunity to take it all in. For instance, last week I was in a whopper of a traffic jam when traveling to work via Alt 90 E. I used my extra hour and a half travel time to work to enjoy the other drivers equally late to work.

There is an automobile dealership in our area named Weidner. Of course a prankster is going to remove the "d." At 6:30 AM how can you fail to see the humor in following an SUV proudly labeled Wei ner?

One of my all time favorite stuck-in-traffic moments was the opportunity to see a maroon PT Cruiser. Now, PT Cruisers make me laugh anyway because they remind me of Keystone Cops. And it seems to me that most of the unsold new Cruisers were sent to car rental companies because some CEO somewhere had a few too many and decided it would be funny to put a visitor in a strange city in a strange car offering the most restricted view possible.

I followed this particular PT Cruiser for some time. It was painted with a sign on the back that advertised Mobile Tattoo Artist and Notary Public. I wrote down the phone number. You just never know when you might need to prove that you weren't drunk when you got that new artwork on your leg.