AT&T… we have a connection!

I bet you thought I was going to talk about my phone, huh? Well, I’m not. Okay, maybe I am – a little. We have been having major challenges with our cell signal at the house. AT&T just can’t seem to keep us connected no matter what they do lately. I think it’s because instead of fixing our cell tower, AT&T has been putting all their resources into the AT&T Executive Education and Conference Center in Austin, Texas.

I've stayed in this hotel before, and again it was a wonderful place to stay while attending a conference. The conference rooms were excellent and the breakout refreshments were very nice. My room was comfortable, quiet, had a great work desk, and fast internet. Our group had a couple of very good evening meals (and more than a few drinks) in the bar and were served by a great bar staff.

Now let’s talk about those new-fangled energy efficient light bulbs.

If I have anything negative at all to say it would be that the lighting in the room was a little dim for my taste. I appreciate the energy efficient lighting and the fact that it softens the wrinkles when I look in the mirror… but it would’ve been nice to be a little brighter when I needed to put on my makeup. Even soft wrinkles need a little help when you get to my age.

Don't mess with Texas

Texas loves slogans. Texas Proud, Texas: It's Like a Whole Other Country, and Texas: State of the Arts among others. But my favorite is Drive Friendly the Texas Way. It received my vote for the most amusing, because if you've ever driven anywhere in Texas you're probably laughing with me at that one right now.

Then a while back, some Austin advertising guys decided that all Texans should forget about that friendly stuff and embrace their inner Bubba. They introduced us to Don't Mess with Texas. It was originally created as an anti-littering campaign slogan, but the attitude struck a harmonious chord with native Texans and was widely embraced. Now it is much better known than the actual state motto: Friendship. Friendship. Really? Bubba would not have approved of that one.

So, what does all this have to do with hotels? I wrote my first draft for this entry while sitting in an Austin hotel a couple of blocks away from the Texas State Capital. The Capital building is really pretty, especially at night. And it has a Don't Mess With Texas kind of feel to it. In fact, the whole city sort of feels that way.

When I found out I was going to a conference in Austin I had no problem staying in the host hotel, The AT&T Executive Education and Conference Center. If you've followed this blog you'll know that I've stayed at almost all of the Holiday Inn properties in Austin. I finally gave up on finding the perfect "Holiday Inn home-away-from-home hotel" in the city.

The AT&T Executive Education and Conference Center in Austin, Texas is on the campus of the University of Texas at Austin and made attending the mandatory conference a real pleasure. The room was spacious, the bed was just right, and they had fast wireless internet. It was wireless, and it was fast. I had to pinch myself a couple of times to see if I was dreaming, but I was awake. The hotel scored a perfect 10 on that account alone. If they take reservations for regular hotel stays I'll most likely make this hotel my next choice.

Maybe I need to come up with a slogan for my hotel experiences. How about Don't Mess With My Wireless, or Sleep Friendly, the... ? Okay. I'll stick to my current profession and leave slogan writing up to the advertising guys.

Slogans are important to Texas. Really good ones define us. They tell our story.

Austin's slogan is "Keep Austin Weird." I thought it was just a cute little catch phrase until I drove by a sign for a local restaurant. The sign read "Arab Cowboy: Cafe and Hookah Lounge. I think Austin got it right. The city wears the title well.

It makes a Texan proud.

If you build it…will they still come?

I have been to all the other Holiday Inn properties in Austin Texas. I decided to try out the Austin Holiday Inn NW Arboretum location because I kept hoping I’d find a location that worked for me. I think I’ll probably start working through the competitor’s hotels next.

Hotel legend has it that the hotel was there long before the overhead freeway system was built. Finding the hotel required a GPS, a divining rod, and a lot of luck. The friendly desk staff gave me a map and a big ball of string to find my way back the second day.

You have to really want to stay at this hotel.

The hotel hasn’t participated in the chain’s re-branding process, but it was clean and remarkably quiet since it practically sits in the middle of a major expressway. The hotel bar doubles as the restaurant. This can be a good thing, especially when you miss the only exit to the hotel and have to drive an extra 45 minutes in rush hour traffic before you can turn around. Twice.

The hotel only had wired internet access in the room, and offered wireless access only in public areas. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll know I really don’t like this arrangement. When I checked out I mentioned to the front desk person that while my stay was comfortable, I probably wouldn’t stay at the hotel again because I want wireless access in my room. She offered me the following explanation: The hotel had recently gone through major renovations (really?) and was looking at the costs of re-branding. Providing wireless throughout the hotel was too expensive so they just offered it in the public areas. But she said next time I could ask for a room off the lobby since sometimes people in those rooms could pick up the wireless. What??

Maybe it’s an Austin thing. Maybe the convergence of the Church of Unconscious Harmony’s proximity to the Magnetic Tattoo Parlor created a vortex or something. Or, maybe they are just determined to Keep Austin Weird.

The Colonel would have approved

After checking out of the Austin Crowne Plaza, I hoped I'd find my luck improved at a different hotel. I checked into the Austin Town Lake Holiday Inn in Austin Texas, an interesting property with a round tower on the bank of Lady Bird Johnson Lake. I was offered a choice of an executive room or a room with a view of the lake. I decided on the room with a view, (mostly because it was on the side of the hotel away from the expressway) and I must admit the view was lovely at sunset. This hotel is an older property, but I can’t complain about it. It was quiet, clean, and comfortable.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I often choose to eat in the hotel bar when I’m on the road. It’s usually quicker, and more than likely has the same menu offered in the restaurant. It’s also a fun way to hear “traveler tales” from other road warriors who’ve had a little too much if you know what I mean. I’ve heard some wild stories, and while I’m sure that 98 percent of them are seriously embellished or completely fabricated, it certainly beats watching reruns of Desperate Housewives on TV. Plus, most bartenders are pretty good conversationalists which makes dinner time a little more interesting for those of us traveling alone. And I can get a pomegranate martini.

This time I ordered an appetizer - chicken strips. Down at the end of the bar were a couple of guys that had been talking to the bartender about being in town for a video game software developer’s conference. They looked like kids. Or maybe I just felt old? Anyway, when my plate arrived, I wondered if I had mistakenly ordered the Colonel’s family sized bucket of chicken with all the fixins. It was huge! I commented to the bartender that I thought I had been given the party platter, and said I’d be happy to share if anyone else at the bar would like some.

Video game software developers have good appetites.

No jewels in this Crowne

I should have picked up on the first clue.

After I checked in to the Crowne Plaza in Austin, Texas I went to the elevator and my key wouldn't work in the executive floor key reader on the elevator. I went back to the front desk and the clerk told me that the middle elevator was always a little weird, and I should use one of the other two. I pushed the button, and the middle elevator door opened. I pushed the button again. No other elevator responded. It was starting to remind me of a Twilight Zone episode I saw once. I finally took the service elevator. The service elevator magically stopped on every floor.

My room on the executive floor was the very last room at the end of the hall. I think it had previously been a closet.

I was actually stunned when I walked in the room. The ceiling was low. The room was almost entirely filled with the king-sized bed, which was actually pushed up to the wall. I don't know how the housekeepers were able to make it up. The nightstand was in the only possible location in the room and was about two feet from the bed. I tried to make the best of it, I really did. But I was supposed to stay three nights at this hotel. I decided it was going to be unacceptable when I realized I was going to have to get out of bed to turn off the lamp or turn off the alarm. The whole experience reminded me of the pictures in my childhood storybook of Alice in Wonderland. When Alice ate the cake she grew so large she had to bend over to stand up in the room. Weird stuff in that book.

I plugged in my laptop at the desk to use the free hotel internet. The signal was so low the internet was virtually nonexistent. I looked at other available wireless networks in the area, and discovered that the hotel next door had a pretty good connection.

I looked for another outlet to charge my blackberry and ended up having to charge it in the bathroom. My cell phone just had to wait its turn. I'm just glad I didn't have to wait in that line.

I decided to stay the night, then checked out the next morning and went to another hotel. If I wanted to stay in a rabbit hole I would've invited Alice.

The Alleys of Austin

Occasionally I find myself in a non-Holiday Inn property, so it's only fair that I subject the other hotels to the same scrutiny offered to my hotel chain of choice. I found myself this trip staying four nights in a lovely Marriott property, the Renaissance Austin Hotel in Austin, Texas. It was a wonderful experience, as most of my Marriott stays are. I'm not sure why I don't stay more often at the chain. My father was a Marriott "Black Card" holder - pretty high up on the Marriott frequent traveler chain from what I understand.

It was a bit too high-priced for my regular business trips, though. Probably the reason I don't stay in such hotels too often.

This was a great hotel stay. Excellent service, and a beautiful well-lit room with an exceptionally comfortable bed. It was a good location for my home base, had complimentary on-site parking, but charged $13.00 a day for internet. Another added perk was the proximity of a nice upscale shopping mall within walking distance (for evening entertainment) and a terrific Japanese Restaurant next door with $5.00 Martini specials.

I enjoyed Austin. It's a really pretty place. But if you visit you have to be careful. I was driving along enjoying the scenery while on the way to a meeting, and I found out that other people on the road don't want you to enjoy the scenery. They just want you to get out of the way.

I drove by the Church of Conscious Harmony and found myself wondering what the services were like. Does the congregation sit around listening to someone with one of those tuning harmonica thingies that barbershop quartets use to get their pitch? And is there somewhere a Church of Unconscious Harmony? The church was right down the street from the Telepathic Tattoo Shop. I hope the Church of Conscious Harmony doesn't interfere with the psychic nature of the tattoo artists. That could get ugly.